Reunion in adoption

Why I am anti anti-open adoption: a public response to private statements

April 5, 2011

Private bulletin boards certainly serve a purpose. A private board can be a safe place for people to connect and explore sensitive issues more deeply than where the whole world could see. I’m in full support of that. A private board can also be a place to vent, and I’m also in support of that. [...]

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In print

April 29, 2010

On Facebook a few months back  I cryptically updated about some good news I’d received. But I tend to not believe in the COMING of good luck; I trust only in the ARRIVAL of good luck. So I couldn’t be too specific about what the news was. But yesterday the proof arrived in the mailbox. [...]

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Reunion in Open Adoption 6: What was the What

March 11, 2009

It seemed, in this dark period, as if we had made a huge miscalculation, committed an unfixable mistake. One that our daughter would suffer for. Our crime? We had chosen open adoption. And despite thumbs up from all the grown ups in the equation, it was not working out well. At. All. For Tessa. She [...]

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Reunion in Open Adoption 5: Things Fall Apart

March 6, 2009

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Joe (Tessa’s birthfather), who had been absent until she was 7, had fully integrated into our lives by the end of 2008. We had spent much of that year easing into a relationship with him. It culminated with visits in his home and visits in our [...]

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Reunion in open adoption 4: face-to-face

February 25, 2009

Awhile back I wrote about how I have become a face-gazer. I don’t know if this is unique to adoptive mamas, but since embarking on this family-building odyssey 8 years ago, I’ve become aware that I study faces. ====== It’s the end of the summer of 2008. Tessa is about to gaze on the face [...]

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Reunion in an open adoption 3: a different kind of wait

February 11, 2009

“The Wait” tends to mean something in adoption, something that hopeful adopting parents endure. But because of my lack of foresight, Tessa was the one who had to endure this 2-month wait. And it was not easy for her — and, consequently, for us. Previous posts leading up to this part of the story Part [...]

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