Adoptive parenting

7 points about the birth mom conversations

October 26, 2011

Recently my son opened up to me asking questions about his birth mom and I responded as best I could. The first two posts in this series simply recounted the conversations. In this third and last post, I offer commentary about the dialog between my son and me and about the comments the posts generated. [...]

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Processing adoption: Conversation with my son, part 2

October 17, 2011

In part one, I told how my still-and-deep-water son was churning some adoption stuff, and how he trusted me to do it with him. I am honored. ~~~~~ Reed and I were running errands the next day. Tessa stayed home with Daddy to build the first fire of the season. Brrrr….it had gotten chilly! Bedtime [...]

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My son processes a new layer of his adoptedness

October 10, 2011

Adam Pertman told the story (which I’m paraphrasing, perhaps badly) at last month’s Open Adoption Symposium of his teenage son, playing a handheld game in his room one night. Trying to keep the lines of communication open, Adam stepped into his son’s room and asked, “Son, how often do you think about adoption?” Without looking [...]

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An open response to anti-open adoption sentiments, part 2

April 12, 2011

Posters on a private board for adoptive parents discussed their reasons for being against open adoption. In part 1 and here, I share my responses to them (background). ~~~~~~ Coercion I don’t understand how you believe that agencies coerce pre-adoptive parents into openness. Just because you don’t like the options available to you doesn’t mean [...]

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Why I am anti anti-open adoption: a public response to private statements

April 5, 2011

Private bulletin boards certainly serve a purpose. A private board can be a safe place for people to connect and explore sensitive issues more deeply than where the whole world could see. I’m in full support of that. A private board can also be a place to vent, and I’m also in support of that. [...]

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Do over: “I’m a bastard, right, Mom?”

March 24, 2011

As you may recall from my last post, Tessa and I began a conversation about the meaning of the words bitch and bastard. We covered the terms and I was feeling confident. Until she said the words expressed in the title of this post. That means I’m a bastard, right? Though it was clear there was [...]

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