Comments on: A moment in open adoption parenting

By: Lacie

Lacie — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 18:50:54 +0000

I just re-read this. Again, what a great resource this will be!
Lacie recently said ..Happy Birthday to Me!

By: Jeri

Jeri — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 06:52:59 +0000

What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing this moment between you and your daughter. I love this list:
Calm, center, open. Breathe, and be aware of my breathing.
Listen. Let her do most of the talking.
Assess. What is she really saying or asking?
Trade places. What might this look like, feel like, to her?
Abide. Give her space to feel her feelings.
Speak. Equal parts head and heart.

I just created a small poster of this and posted it to my bulletin board near my laptop and my phone and will be posting another copy on the fridge to remind myself that there is a BEST way of finding my emotional center, truly listening with my head and heart and ensuring I can at least empathize even if I cannot understand.

I found your blog via ILCW!
Jeri recently said ..It’s IComLeavWe Week!

By: Chrissie

Chrissie — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 22:03:42 +0000

This is my first ICLW and I am really enjoying finding new blogs and hopefully making new connections in this blog world! My husband and I are just starting out on an adoption journey but I really appreciate gleaning wisdom from strong women who have gone before me.. Thank you for sharing your story.

By: Jenny - Sugar Loco

Jenny - Sugar Loco — Wed, 25 May 2011 12:49:29 +0000

I’m always amazed at how good you are at handling these tough situations. You’re very good and breathing and figuring out what the REAL issue is, instead of reacting at the moment. GO YOU!

By: What if?

What if? — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 17:20:22 +0000

[...] them parenting (separately) her half-siblings. She’s been to their homes. She wonders aloud, on occasion, what it would be like to live with Joe and/or Crystal. Would she have a dog? Would she have her [...]

By: Why do so many people suck at open adoption?

Why do so many people suck at open adoption? — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 14:41:41 +0000

[...] not necessarily call parenting, overall, a struggle. Though my family has had struggles in our open adoptions, I would not say that open adoption is, overall, a [...]

By: An adoption talk with my daughter on what makes a real family

An adoption talk with my daughter on what makes a real family — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 14:02:24 +0000

[...] I resorted to my habits when I get adoption stress: Breathe. Be aware of my breathing. Silently ask for wisdom and [...]

By: Gaby

Gaby — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 17:15:56 +0000

Hi, Lori. This is waaaay late (exactly a year late, it seems), but this is my first time on your blog and the name of the post appealed to me. I have two adopted children myself. Theirs is not an open adoption by birthmother’s choice, though I wish it was. I loved this post. My children are still young so their adoption comments and questions are not quite as deep yet but you have helped me think through answers for the future. Thank you. I laughed because the car seems to be the place kids choose to ask the worst possible questions to answer while you are trying to drive and think and cannot look at them and hold their hands while you answer! Anything from adoption to sex to death to God is fair game

By: foodie mummy

foodie mummy — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 12:41:15 +0000

That was an incredible post. You dealt with this in such a calm and controlled way. I don’t know if I would ever be able to deal with something like this that way. Food for thought!

By: @jencull (Jen)

@jencull (Jen) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 12:29:59 +0000

Wow, this is what I love about blogging, learning new things and seeing things from different perspectives. Thank you:) Jen