Comments on: Hotel Rwanda and open adoption parenting

By: battynurse

battynurse — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:01:27 +0000

Very good point.

By: excavator

excavator — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:01:15 +0000

Sorry, Kid. I still think it's remarkable that you were able to keep your head under field conditions and remember (1) Calm, center, open...etc

I think that's extraordinary.

And I really appreciate your sharing it because it reminds me of what's possible. If I can keep from being swept away in the heat of a stressful moment.

So, you know anyone who can tattoo that list on the backs of my eyelids?

Love

By: Lavender Luz

Lavender Luz — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:01:11 +0000

Hi Phoebe.

It's not that I can't/don't accept the accolades. My point was that we all have it within us to rise to an occasion.

The "yay, you" messages from the original post felt great, and I loved receiving them.

But the "you-are-better-than-me-I-could-never-do-that" messages are the ones I address here on this post.

By: Phoebe

Phoebe — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:01:11 +0000

Of course we are all ordinary people that can do extraordinary thing, but not all of us can put our egos aside to do that extraordinary thing. You are an extraordinary mom. It’s ok to get that kind of praise. Maybe you should ask yourself why you are having a hard time receiving it? It is as much a gift to receive as it is to give.

By: kbreints

kbreints — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:01:11 +0000

So true. As mothers we all strive to be heros… hope that our children will view us as extrordinary… and that when we are called upon to live up to those standards we do. I don’t think that what you said was any more exceptional then any one of us would or could have done in that position, but it IS awesome that in that moment you lived up to the role of hero in your daughters eyes. I still sing your praises!

By: Sheri

Sheri — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:01:10 +0000

Having my three kids 17 months apart (a single and then twins 17 months later), people ask me, "How did you do it?"

There really is no extraordinary answer. "I guess I just did it...cuz it needed to be done..."

And although my acts don't feel extraordinary, I still gaze in wonder when I see a woman with multiple small children and wonder, "How does she do it?" OR "I remember being that tired," OR "Thank goodness that's behind me."

Maybe it looks more extraordinary from the outside???

By: Kristin

Kristin — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:01:10 +0000

"over and over again, incredible, extraordinary, remarkable things are done by ordinary people."

Preach it sister!

By: MrsSpock

MrsSpock — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:01:09 +0000

Because of the work I’ve done the past 10 years, I’ve often been told, “I could never clean up poop/work in a cracked out neighborhood/stand seeing someone’s innards/tolerate working with the mentally ill/etc. It saddens me, because I think there are many more people who could do the work I’ve chosen, only they think it takes some innate gift to do so. And it doesn’t. I don’t enjoy wiping a behind, but I suck it up and do it with kindness. I was certainly not born naturally gifted at heinie-wiping.

I think if you looked in the past of anyone who seems to have done something extraordinary, you will see hundreds of small choices to try harder, learn more, and stretch their abilities into areas they may find discomfort.

By: Lollipop Goldstein

Lollipop Goldstein — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:01:09 +0000

But I think his point is also that you don’t know what you’d do in the moment. That is usually doesn’t start with 1000 refugees at your door. It starts with one and then it becomes two and then you start realizing the power you have to help others and it builds. And I think the same thing comes with parenting and we marveled at that moment because you landed it. You had that perfect moment, which is not to say that all parenting moments are perfect, but when you nail it, you nail it. And you gave me so much to think about with that post and where I let myself go sometimes and how to bring it back to the child.

By: areyoukiddingme

areyoukiddingme — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:01:09 +0000

You know how some people can cook and some people burn water? Some people understand astrophysics and some people can look at your face and give you the perfect hair cut?

I agree that people can and will do extraordinary things when the situation requires it. But, I respectfully disagree that all of us are capable of doing the same kind of extraordinary things.

I could never shelter a thousand refugees...not because I wouldn't want to but because my personality and lifestyle is such that I don't have the connections or resources to do so. I wouldn't know how to sweet talk the right person or who to bribe. These are not my talents. In fact, I would likely get people killed because I am tactless and undiplomatic - speaking the truth without thinking about how to phrase it politely. On the other hand, I would probably have made Paul Rusesabagina comfortable because I would have said something like "Who knew that spending all that time sucking up to and taking crap from a**holes would have paid off so well?"

So, that's why I say you're amazing. I am recognizing your particular talent to put your fears and insecurities aside for the sake of others (Tessa and Crystal). That's why I think Paul Rusesabagina is incredible - because his talent for soothing egos and meeting needs enabled him to find a way to help people.

I'm not saying I don't have talents, but they certainly do not lie in the arena of interpersonal relations. Please take your credit, because it is certainly well earned.